


A Fragmented Account of When Things Went to Hell

by alto (themorninglark)



Category: Free!
Genre: Epistolary, M/M, Makoharu Fanfiction Festival, Tokyo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3223766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themorninglark/pseuds/alto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru and Makoto have their second fight.</p><p>Afterwards, their friends put the picture together for them, in chat logs, pictures, voicemails and their stories of what really happened.</p><p>Written for the MakoHaru Fanfiction Festival 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fragmented Account of When Things Went to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fill for Festival Prompt #58. Makoto and Haru's second fight.

**00\. read me first.txt**

 

Haru. Makoto.

We’re doing this for you because, fucking hell, if you guys have another fight like this one and the last one in high school, we’re going to kick both your asses. HARD. So help us god, we will not be held responsible for our actions. Not after what happened to Makoto this time.

I will be damned before I get another text like that from Nagisa.

All of us have a bit of the picture of your stupid fight, so we put it all together on this USB stick for you. (We even numbered them helpfully. When I say “we” I mean Rei. Dude nearly invented a whole new classification system just for these notes.)

If you don’t look at it properly I (Rin. I’m writing this, btw, if you haven’t guessed) am going to tell Coach that Haru’s suddenly allergic to chlorine and can’t swim for a year. I’ll even forge a doctor’s note about it. I am not kidding.

Rin  
Nagisa  
Rei

 

* * *

 

**01\. Text messages from the phone of Ryugazaki Rei.docx**

 

 _< makoto.tachibana@ezweb.ne.jp>  
_Hey Rei… I’m sorry to impose on you, is there any chance you’re free tomorrow night?

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>  
_Makoto-senpai, you are never an imposition. I don’t have plans for tomorrow night. How can I help you?

 _< makoto.tachibana@ezweb.ne.jp>_  
Well, I promised Haru I’d go to this concert with him but something came up at work…

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
I understand, say no more. These things happen. I can accompany Haruka-senpai.

 _< makoto.tachibana@ezweb.ne.jp>_  
Oh thank god, Rei, thank you so much! It’s some rock band that his teammate’s girlfriend is in and he made all of them buy tickets. Haru is kind of upset with me because he doesn’t even want to go and only caved because I told him it’d be fun if we go together…

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
I’m sure Haruka-senpai will come round. Please try not to worry about it. Let him know I’d be happy to go with him. It’s been a while since we caught up, anyway.

 _< makoto.tachibana@ezweb.ne.jp>_  
I really, really owe you one, Rei!!!

 

* * *

 

**02\. Rin - Haru called me wtf.docx**

 

I guess it was, what, the day after that concert? Must have been.

I remember I was at home, and it was really damn late (stupid timezones), and I was only up because I was working on some big project. And then my phone rang. And if it had been anyone else I would have thrown the fucking phone across the room because who calls at 2am?

But Haru _never_ calls.

Ever.

EVER.

We all know that, right?

So I answered, and I said something like, “Fuck, Haru, is there an emergency?”

And that asshole just said, “Not really.”

That’s it. That’s all he said, cool as always, leaving guess who to be the stupid sucker who actually has to ask, “So what’s wrong?”, because something’s obviously wrong when Haru makes an overseas phone call to you at midnight Tokyo time.

(And surely Haru making a phone call in the first place, no matter when or where, qualifies as a goddamn emergency situation in its own right?)

Anyway, so after a lot of awkward silence, he started telling me about this concert he went to last night. Which, fine, sounded cool and all, but after a while I couldn’t stand it anymore and told him to get to the fucking point or hang up. And that was when he told me he went with Rei.

Which is when, you know sometimes in cartoons a lightbulb goes off over your head? That. For me. It was a _dim_ bulb, on account of it was 2 fucking am, so I just asked, “what, Makoto wasn’t interested?”

“Makoto was supposed to come. But he had work,” he said.

“Haru, are you calling me at this godforsaken hour because you’re upset that Makoto ditched you for work?”

And then he did that thing where he just goes silent for ages.

I tell you, I nearly hung up. When he does that in person it’s annoying enough, but when he does it over the phone it’s just freaking unbearable because you can’t even see his face and his expression and you don’t even know if he’s still there.

When he finally said something, that something was, “I don’t know,” and then… I think I started having flashbacks to that time we were at the beach, and in my head I was just like _ohshitohshitohshit this shit is serious_ so I think I deserve a medal or something for managing to continue the conversation.

“Haru,” I told him, “if you’re upset, you need to talk to Makoto.”

“I’m not upset,” he said.

“Bullshit. You’re upset that he chose work over you.”

“No,” said Haru. “It’s not really about that.”

I could just see that look he gets on his face when he’s trying to figure something out. The way his brows draw together and he narrows his eyes. So I didn’t say anything.

“If he has a good reason, I don’t mind,” Haru said, eventually.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” I said. “Then you’re upset because you _don’t_ think work is a good reason?”

“No, work is a good reason.”

“Then what the hell is your problem?”

“Makoto is working too much.”

“Say what?”

He made this _are you deaf_ kind of impatient noise. “Makoto is working too much.”

Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with this guy’s total inability to communicate.

“What do you mean _working too much_?”

“Rin.”

He paused. For a really long time. I had to tap the phone to make sure it was still working. Also, I was really damn tired by this point.

“Haru, spit it out.”

“He’s not listening to me, Rin. Can you talk to him?”

Okay, so. I can count on my hands the number of times Haru has asked me for a favour like this. Actually, I can’t, because I don’t have a finger to represent _exactly zero_.

So I said yes, of course. What else could I have done?

 

* * *

 

**03\. my chat log with rei-chan.txt**

 

[09:09am] rockhoppernagisa:  
rei-chan! good morning! are you there???

[09:10am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Just about. Good morning, Nagisa-kun :)

[09:11am] rockhoppernagisa:  
what do you mean “just about”? did you have a wild party last night :O

[09:12am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
No, I did not. I was up late working on a project.  
I had to deal with it last night because the night before, Makoto-senpai asked me for a favour, and I was too busy to do any work.

[09:13am] rockhoppernagisa:  
mako-chan?! is he okay?

[09:15am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
…well.  
He seems okay to me.

[09:16am] rockhoppernagisa:  
rei-chan.  
what are you not telling me.

[09:21am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Makoto-senpai asked me to accompany Haruka-senpai to a concert the night before last, because he was tied up at work. So I said yes.

[09:22am] rockhoppernagisa:  
WHAT?! IS HARU-CHAN OKAY??

[09:29am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Nagisa-kun, how do you…  
I mean…  
How did your mind even jump to that question right away?!  
Shouldn’t you ask me how the concert was? Or what happened? Or… something…

[09:30am] rockhoppernagisa:  
who has time to waste on trivial questions like that?  
tell me about haru-chan and mako-chan already

[09:32am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Nagisa-kun, you never cease to amaze me.

[09:33am] rockhoppernagisa:  
ehehehe ^__^  
OH GOD DID THEY HAVE A FIGHT????  
ANOTHER FIGHT???  
I DON’T THINK HARU-CHAN COULD SURVIVE THAT, REI-CHAN  
REI-CHAN WE NEED TO RUSH TO HIS SIDE

[09:34am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Nagisa-kun, calm down!!

[09:35am] rockhoppernagisa:  
YOU’RE NOT CALM YOU USED TWO EXCLAMATION MARKS!!

[09:36am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
YOU ARE INFECTING ME WITH YOUR ANXIETY  
I apologise, I hit the caps lock key accidentally.

[09:37am] rockhoppernagisa:  
ACCIDENTALLY YEAH RIGHT!!!

[09:38am] rockhoppernagisa:  
REI-CHAN  
WHERE ARE YOU  
okay i’ll stop capslocking rei-chan are you there  
don’t leave me hanging like that it’s so cruel!!!

[09:48am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
I just went to the kitchen to take a very long sip of barley tea.  
And some deep breaths.  
Nagisa-kun, you are a terible influence on my nerves.

[09:48am] rockhoppernagisa:  
i’m sorry!! please tell me what happened, rei-chan  
i’m really worried now

[09:50am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Well… Haruka-senpai seemed a bit distracted, although the music was excellent.  
But I don't know that he was _upset_. More bothered? Preoccupied?

[09:51am] rockhoppernagisa:  
rei-chan that is not logical  
why wouldn’t haru-chan be upset that mako-chan abandoned him?

[09:52am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
I know. It was somewhat odd.  
So after that, I asked Haruka-senpai to have supper, and we went to one of those 24-hour noodle places, and we had soba.  
It was really quite nice to catch up with him… we don’t see each other that often even though we’re both in university here. Haruka-senpai’s schedule is always so busy, you know?  
Anyway, after a while, I mentioned that it was a shame that Makoto-senpai couldn’t make it tonight.

[09:53am] rockhoppernagisa:  
did you really??? well done rei-chan

[09:56am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
I had to say something about it, right?!  
And like I said just now… Haruka-senpai didn’t seem to be sad. Or upset. He just sighed. Then he looked a bit annoyed.  
He said that in the end, he probably would have told Makoto-senpai not to come anyway, because he’s so tired all the time.

[09.57am] rockhoppernagisa:  
tired? huh?

[10:01am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Yeah. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. So I asked if Makoto-senpai is taking care of his health, since it seems like he’s been so busy at work.  
And Haruka-senpai said that he made a huge pot of soup the last time he was at Makoto-senpai’s house, but there was nothing else in the fridge.

[10:02am] rockhoppernagisa:  
where is this going????

[10:04am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Nagisa-kun, it’s not going anywhere.  
Haruka-senpai changed the topic and asked me if I wanted to come and swim with him sometime.  
Then he told me about this front crawl hip and shoulder rotation his coach was drilling him in and we got sidetracked.

[10:05am] rockhoppernagisa:  
REI-CHAN  
TRUST YOU TO GET SIDETRACKED BY SCIENCE!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!

[10:06am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
I’m sorry, but you know how Haruka-senpai gets when he doesn’t want to talk.

[10:07am] rockhoppernagisa:  
okay don’t worry, hang tight, i will contact mako-chan  
leave it to me

[10:08am] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Nagisa-kun?  
Wait, what? Leave what to you, exactly??  
Nagisa-kun???

 

* * *

 

**04\. voicemail from Mako-chan :(.mp3**

 

_"Hi, Nagisa? Oh… it’s voicemail… ah!! It’s really late huh? Sorry, I hope you weren’t wakened by the sound of the phone ringing! I shouldn’t have called past midnight like this. It’s just been a really long day at the pool. I covered some shifts for colleagues and I’ve been asked to work on designing a new summer course. It's a really exciting project and they said they could really use my help on it._

_Anyway, I got your voicemail asking me to call you back. What’s up? Sorry I didn’t get to talk to you. It’s hard for me to get to the phone because I’m always at work or at school. Do you want to text me instead? Hear from you soon!"_

 

* * *

 

**05\. Ryugazaki Rei’s account of a conversation with Rin-san.docx**

 

[09.11pm] sharkattackrin:  
rei.

[09.12pm] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Rin-san?! Er, hello?

[09.13pm] sharkattackrin:  
hello. can you not sound so surprised. i’m not going to bite you.  
we have a situation. can you talk.

[09:14pm] Rei Ryugazaki:  
Yes, what is…

It was at this point that the Skype incoming call window popped up, with Rin-san’s blinking icon. I clicked “accept call” and he wasted no time in getting right to things. He didn’t even bother to turn on his webcam, so I only heard his voice.

“Rei, I’m calling you because you’re actually _in_ Tokyo with those two, and there’s only so much I can do from Australia, which right now is precisely _fuck all_ ,” he said.

“Hang on, Rin-san, who are we talking about?”

“Makoto and Haru, duh. Didn’t you go to that concert thing with Haru?”

“Oh. Ah, yes.”

“After that, Haru called me in the middle of the night.”

“He did?” (I was surprised to hear of Haruka-senpai calling anyone, to be honest.)

“Yeah. He said ‘Makoto is working too much’ and then asked me to speak to Makoto.”

“He _did_? Uh - Rin-san - did you? Speak with Makoto-senpai, I mean?”

“No,” Rin-san growled. “The guy never picks up his phone. And I never see him on Skype. What’s his problem? I have no fucking idea what’s going on and I don’t even know what Haru wants me to say to him.”

“Hmmm,” I said. “Nagisa-kun had a similar problem. He said he tried to call Makoto-senpai, but couldn’t get through either, though Makoto-senpai called him back and left a voicemail.”

I heard the clinking of a glass next to Rin-san. “What, is Makoto living at work now? Does he camp there overnight? Does he not charge his phone? Have you seen him lately?”

“I… no, I haven’t seen or heard from either of them. But on the night we went to the concert, Haruka-senpai told me that actually, he would have told Makoto-senpai not to come anyway, because he’s so tired these days.”

“ _Huh?_ So let me get this straight.” Rin-san paused. “Haru called me at god knows what hour to complain about Makoto ditching him for this concert. But he told you he didn’t even want Makoto to come? I swear, I’m going to - I’m going to - argh!”

I heard something fall. I concluded that Rin-san had probably kicked a bin over in his frustration.

As for myself, I hadn’t quite had it figured out just from my conversation with Haruka-senpai over post-concert supper, or with Nagisa-kun a few days after, but now, talking to Rin-san, I was thinking hard about it. Because he was right. The entire situation seemed to be completely nonsensical at first glance. I tried to think it through with some kind of systematic reason. That’s when the pieces started to fall into place.

“Haruka-senpai… he wasn’t upset, was he?”

“You mean when he called me? Well, he seemed a bit weird. Not that Haru isn’t always weird, but, weirder than usual, y’know. Like, confused?”

“Yeah. I think that Haruka-senpai, he… he’s the kind of person who doesn’t always understand his own feelings.”

“Who the hell knows what Haru feels about anything? Except Makoto,” Rin-san added.

“Haruka-senpai told you Makoto-senpai is working too much, right?” I said. “If you think about it logically…”

“Why did I know that phrase was going to come up at some point? Wait, I’m going to drink.” There was a pause, and a gulp.

“Rin-san, are you playing a _drinking game_ with me?”

“Yeah. I have a score card and all. Every time you say the words 'logic', 'theory', 'beautiful' or 'Nagisa', I drink. Two shots if I imagine you’re pushing your glasses up your nose as you say it.”

(I remember feeling quite indignant about this, but decided to ignore it for the time being in favour of more pressing matters at hand.)

“Well, Rin-san, if you think about it logically - ”

I heard another two gulps coming from the other end of the line.

“ - considering what Haruka-senpai has said to us, our inability to reach Makoto-senpai, and Makoto-senpai’s personality, it seems most likely that - ”

“Oh shit, Rei.”

I could tell from Rin-san’s tone of voice that he could see where I was going with this immediately.

“Makoto’s being a self-sacrificing idiot again, isn’t he?”

“I wasn’t going to use those words, Rin-san, but generally, I believe that is what you could call it.”

What I had meant to say was, Makoto-senpai loves helping people, sometimes to the detriment of his own well-being, which is something I know only far too well. Makoto-senpai, I know you will read this text file eventually, so please let me take this opportunity to tell you something that I’ve never been able to in person. And if I don’t put it in here now, I don’t know if I ever will.

I would rather have died myself that night than see you die trying to save me. I mean it.

“Rei.”

I sat up at that. That’s Rin-san’s coaching tone of voice, his captain voice. The one that means no nonsense. All business. I remember it well.

“Yes, Rin-san?”

“You need to go and ambush that huge lunkhead at his workplace.”

“Excuse me? You mean Makoto-senpai?”

“Yes, who else? I - ”

Just then I heard a phone beeping, on Rin-san’s side, and he stopped talking abruptly.

“Oh shit, I gotta go, Rei,” he said, after a second.

“Rin-san? What…”

“Makoto just sent me a text. I’m going to call him right this fucking minute.”

He hung up abruptly.

 

* * *

 

**06\. Rin - why is it always me.docx**

 

Okay, so Rei, thinking, theory, yadda yadda. You can read it all in Rei's part of the story. You know I was on Skype with him when Makoto’s text came in.

And Makoto’s text said _Rin, I need help with Haru._

The last time Makoto sent me a text that said _Rin, I need help with Haru_ , I dragged Haru’s ass all the way to Australia for him.

So I dropped everything and called Makoto right away. When he didn’t answer after, what, four rings? I nearly hung up, but I _knew_ he was there, because he just sent me a bloody text.

He finally picked up on the fifth ring, and before he could say anything I yelled something like “what the fuck is going on, Makoto?”

“Ah, Rin, thanks for calling, I wasn’t expecting you to!”

“You _weren’t_ expecting me to? You sent me an SOS!”

“Yeah, but calls are expensive, I thought you would just text me back…”

God, Makoto can be so _dim_ sometimes.

When you need help with something as serious as this, a fight with your best friend in the world, don’t waste time on texts or emails. Just fucking reach out and _grab_ what you need. Overseas phone bills be damned. You hear that, dumbasses?

“Forget that. Spill,” I ordered him.

“Okay. Um. Well, Haru’s not talking to me.”

I smacked my palm on my forehead. “Why?” I asked.

I kind of had some idea, since I just spoke to Rei, but I wanted to hear from Makoto what had tipped Haru over the edge.

Makoto sighed. “I don’t know. I didn’t do anything. We were just having dinner, and suddenly he snapped at me.”

“He did what now?”

“He said ‘Makoto, are you there?’, and then he said ‘Makoto, you haven’t heard anything I said in the last ten minutes.’”

“ _Huh?_ Well, was that true?”

Makoto didn’t say anything, which said absolutely everything I needed to know.

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you?”

“I just got off a long shift at work, and…” He yawned.

“And what? And you thought it would be a better idea to go meet your best friend half-assed than to just tell him you can’t make it and reschedule to a day when you give him 100%?”

“I… Rin…”

Makoto’s voice cracked. He sounded like he might cry, for a moment.

Thank fuck, I know him better than that. I know he has balls of steel. And I know he _doesn’t do crying._

And Makoto knows I know that about him. Haru, yeah, okay, _him_ \- him I’ll handle with kid gloves, because he can be a fragile little swan, but Makoto, your puppy dog eyes and sweet, sweet honeyed voice don’t fool me. They never have. Please note that now, for posterity, from this moment to forever.

So. No mercy. I plowed on.

“Makoto, keep talking. Don’t waste my overseas call time. What did Haru do next?”

“Well… that’s when he stood up and told me dinner was on me, and I need to sort my life out, and he walked out of the restaurant.”

“So let me guess what happened next,” I said. “You paid as fast as you could, then tried to run after him, and when you couldn’t catch up, you called him. He’s not answering. He’s ignoring your texts.”

Makoto didn’t say anything again.

 _Tch._ “You’re more transparent than… than the pool. The both of you. Mostly you, though.”

“What do I do, Rin?”

“You don’t need help with Haru,” I said, bluntly. “You need help with _yourself_. Makoto, you can’t do everything.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your damn hero complex, Makoto! Damn it, I know how busy it can get, juggling your final year in uni plus a part-time job - no, Makoto, don’t interrupt me and say you can handle it - I know you think you can, but something’s gotta give, and it's up to you to decide what it is!”

I think I only stopped talking because I ran out of breath. I can tell you, I was pissed off.

And Makoto wasn’t saying anything. He was quiet, not crying. Just like I knew he would.

And when he spoke again, his voice was so calm it was almost scary. I swear, he was probably smiling on the other end. You know that smile of his? That one that’s wraps around you like a fuzzy blanket and is like, _it’s okay, everything’s gonna be okay_? Except when it’s not actually gonna be okay?

Even if everything in the world went to hell, Makoto would still be smiling that smile, trying to assure his friends that everything’s gonna be fucking okay.

“I _can_ handle it, Rin,” he said. “I’m fine. I just need to convince Haru.”

I could have said _no, you’re not_. I should have. But Makoto is even more stubborn than that ass Haru at times like this, it was getting late, and I’d said my piece. So I gave up for now. I’m sorry, sue me, I didn’t know that Nagisa would go and fuck everything up.

“Whatever. If you say so,” I said. “Just take care of yourself, Makoto.”

“Thanks, Rin. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 

* * *

 

**07\. tea with haru-chan and then the pool thing omg.docx**

 

okay. rei-chan says i need to write about when I met haru-chan for tea and then THAT happened.

okay. OKAY.

At that time I didn’t know anything except what Rei-chan had told me! in that chat log. About Haru-chan and what he said about Mako-chan always being tired. So when I went to Tokyo that weekend and met Haru-chan for tea, I had _no idea_ that he and Mako-chan were in a fight, I swear.

(i blame rei-chan rei-chan totally didn’t mention it to me)

> _Clarification from Ryugazaki Rei, who is going through and editing/numbering all these files: at this point I don’t believe Rin-san had had the opportunity to update us yet, so I was just as clueless as Nagisa-kun, thank you very much._

Haru-chan met me at Shinjuku station and took me to a nice cafe with the best best ever strawberry shortcake. We were just talking about university stuff, and I was telling him about Gou-chan’s new boyfriend and how she’s trying _super_ hard to keep it a secret from Rin-chan, but…

I guess I could sense that something was weird. You know? Sometimes you can just _tell_ these things. There was something on Haru-chan’s mind.

But Haru-chan will never tell you what’s wrong if you just ask him directly. So I stood up, and grabbed Haru-chan by the wrist, and announced to him, “We’re going to go visit Mako-chan at his pool! Let’s go watch him coaching!”

I KNOW PLEASE DON’T KILL ME

I WOULD **NEVER** HAVE SAID THAT IF I HAD KNOWN THEY WERE FIGHTING

I AM SO SERIOUS

ANYWAY

so I could tell that once the words came out of my mouth that it miiight not have been the smartest thing because Haru-chan’s vibes suddenly got really weird and intense and I got chills staring at him stare at the table blankly…

I thought he was just going to say no. But then he kind of sighed and said, “Why not?”

So we went. And Haru-chan didn’t say anything the entire way there.

“Uh, Haru-chan?” I asked him, when we were on the train. “Is Mako-chan okay?”

Haru-chan just shrugged. “Who knows?” he said.

And I knew that meant Mako-chan was NOT OKAY so I had a mini internal freakout on the train but it was too late to turn back and Haru-chan didn’t look like he wanted to say any more about it.

So we showed up at the swimming club, and Haru-chan led the way to the stands upstairs. We saw Mako-chan with a group of kids, teaching them breaststroke. He didn’t look all that not okay. He seemed okay. The kids seemed like they were having fun. Mako-chan’s a good teacher!

Haru-chan was being all quiet so we just sat and watched Mako-chan for a while, till he saw us.

He looked really _really_ surprised. Then he stared. Not at me. And we hadn’t seen each other for months and _months_.

He was staring at Haru-chan.

I thought of asking Haru-chan if he wanted to leave, but then he was the one who said yes to coming in the first place, and I thought he would just get irritated with me if I brought up leaving so soon, sooo… we hung around till Mako-chan’s class ended. Mako-chan popped up to the stands after saying bye to all the kids, and I pounced on him with a hug.

“Nagisa! I didn’t expect to see you here!” he said.

“We wanted to surprise you! Right, Haru-chan?”

I turned to look at Haru-chan. But he wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t looking at Mako-chan either. He was just staring out at the pool, at the next class, and his mouth was set in that funny little line that means he’s being really stubborn about something.

He didn’t say anything. I turned back to Mako-chan, like, _ummmm… so, what’s going on?_

That was when I saw the dark circles under his eyes, and the way he was standing funny, like he might fall apart anytime, and I had to blink and rub my eyes, he suddenly seemed like a totally different person from who we saw by the pool coaching the kids and I finally finally understood what Haru-chan meant and that Mako-chan was very not okay.

“Hi, Haru,” he said.  
He sounded sad. Like. Really sad.

And Haru-chan still didn’t look at him. He just asked, in this flat voice, “Have you figured your life out yet?”

And I was like WHOA WHOA WHAT IS GOING ON

So I tried my best to save them and the only thing I could think of was to tell Mako-chan that he absolutely needs to try the chocolate cake at the bakery outside the pool right now and try to drag him out BODILY

but that didn’t work because he didn’t want to move.  
you try moving Mako-chan when he doesn’t want to move.

He just got all frowny and said to Haru-chan, “Can’t we talk about that somewhere else?”

And that’s when Haru-chan was like, “What’s wrong with here? Are you afraid to face your friends as well as me, Makoto?”

And he looked at me. And Mako-chan looked at me.  
oh god.  
oh god oh god oh god

Well by now I could kind of guess what the fight was about but they were both doing that thing where they just… wouldn’t… talk. Properly.

so I… um, I took a really deep breath and started scolding them.

it really seemed like the best thing at that moment.

 

* * *

 

**08\. Text messages from the phone of Ryugazaki Rei 2.docx**

 

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>  
_rei, did you tell nagisa something.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
Haruka-senpai? What exactly do you mean by ‘something’?

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>  
_he just yelled at me and makoto in the middle of makoto’s workplace.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
He did what?!  
I am so very sorry, Haruka-senpai.  
Please allow me to call him right away.

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>_  
no don’t  
we’re at the hospital, can’t talk

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
The HOSPITAL???

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>  
_makoto blacked out.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
………Haruka-senpai, I’ve run out of exclamations for one day.  
What happened. Please tell me.

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>_  
nagisa yelled at makoto for overworking.  
then he yelled at me for not facing makoto properly and being “so cold”.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
Uh, wow.  
Wait, when did the blacking out happen?

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>_  
in the middle of that. makoto was starting to protest. he got really stressed. and he suddenly collapsed.  
so we took him here. the doctor says he’s just exhausted and needs rest.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>  
_I’m on the metro. I’ll come over straight away. Send me the address.

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>_  
we’re at the tokyo medical university hospital. near shinjuku.  
nagisa says he just updated rin that makoto is in the hospital and rin is freaking out.  
so did you tell nagisa something or not.

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>_  
Is that important??  
I believe I... may have mentioned what you said about Makoto-senpai being tired all the time.

 _< swimfree@docomo.ne.jp>  
_…thanks

 _< butterfly.rei@docomo.ne.jp>  
_You’re very welcome, Haruka-senpai.

 

* * *

 

**09\. haru-chan and mako-chan.jpg**

 

_A photo snapped on the sly by Hazuki Nagisa at Tokyo Medical University Hospital._

_There’s a ray of sunlight streaming in through half-open shutters at the window. Makoto is lying in bed with his eyes closed. The walls are pristine and whitewashed._

_Haruka is dressed in a white t-shirt and blue slacks, and he is sitting in a brown plastic chair by Makoto’s bedside, back facing the camera, leaning forward with his arms resting in his lap._

_There is a packed lunch and a slice of chocolate cake on the table at the end of the bed._

 

* * *

 

**10\. voicemail from rin-chan.mp3**

 

_"What the fuck, Nagisa, why is Makoto in the hospital?! Why are you there? Where’s Haru? Why aren’t you picking up? Did you say something to upset them even more? Goddammit, I’m going to send all of you my overseas phone bill at the end of this month! Send me a proper text with some kind of explanation or I swear I’m gonna -_

_Oh Rei just texted me. Thank god someone here still has a functioning brain."_

 

* * *

 

**11\. haru-chan and mako-chan 2.jpg**

 

_A photo sent by Hazuki Nagisa to Matsuoka Rin, one day later._

_Haruka and Makoto are sitting side by side on a bench in a garden. Makoto is still dressed in a light blue hospital gown. Haruka is in a green shirt today, a colour that he rarely wears, knee-length khaki shorts and loafers that match Makoto’s._

_The bellflowers on the bushes behind them bloom in shades of light purple. There’s a butterfly by Haruka’s ear._

_Haruka and Makoto are looking at each other with gentle smiles on their faces, as their heads lean closer together._

 

* * *

 

**12\. Rin - China.docx**

 

Rei says I should write the last thing. Why the hell should I write the last thing? It happened so much later, surely it's not really part of this story.

But Rei is a pain in the ass when he gets fixated on an idea, so I guess I’ll just write it. Around two months after Makoto’s hospital scare, the national team got together in China for a tournament, and I saw Haru for the first time since forever.

That’s not what I’m supposed to write about though. I’m supposed to write about Makoto.

Yeah, Makoto.

Makoto came to support Haru at this tournament.

I mean, not that Makoto isn’t like the most supportive guy ever, but I’ve never seen him travel abroad with Haru, and definitely not during term time, you know? So I was pretty shocked, and when I had the chance to, I sat down with him in the bleachers during one of my training breaks.

Makoto smiled when he saw me, and the first thing he said was, “You were right.”

Well, of course I was fucking right, so I just said, “Yeah, you dumbass.”

We watched Haru swimming laps for a while.

“Haru was really mad at me,” Makoto said.

“You think?”

“And it was my fault. He was right. You were right. I was trying to do too much.”

The mood was getting super heavy and I didn’t want Makoto fainting because then we’d have to bring him to a Chinese hospital and really, fuck that, because none of us speak any Mandarin, so I sort of punched him on the arm lightly and said, “Well, first time you nearly drowned, this time you blacked out again, maybe third time’s the charm and you'll finally learn that you can't do everything.”

He laughed. “God, I hope there won’t be a third time.”

“There’d better not,” I said. “So what brings you all the way out here with Haru this time?”

He leaned over the railing, and stared into space for a while, all thoughtful and quiet like he gets sometimes. “I guess I decided that if I could only do so much with my time and my energy, I had to get my priorities straight.”

Haru got out of the pool, then, and looked straight up where we were.

He smiled at Makoto.

Makoto smiled right back.

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was very excited to score this prompt. Such a great character exploration premise! And then... because I am, apparently, a blatant masochist, I proceeded to turn the entire story into one huge writing bucket list experiment, where I played with all these things I wanted to try:
> 
> 1) An epistolary story told from many different perspectives, through different media  
> 2) Writing first-person POV for a change  
> 3) Exploring how they could fight with it being Makoto's fault this time, so to speak. I don't really believe in assigning fault so blatantly in fights, but the first fight is commonly seen as Haru's fault while Makoto was being a saint, so I wanted to see how I could flip it around. I think Makoto's greatest weakness is his tendency to overextend himself in his zeal to help others, so I took that as the starting point of this whole fic.  
> 4) Figuring out how the hell to convey their fight without actually ever giving either of them a POV voice
> 
> ...I nearly scrapped the whole idea at around 4,600 words because that was when I realised I seemed to have bitten off rather a lot. But I am also a stubborn idiot, so I kept at it. And I'm glad I did because in the end, it was really a great experience writing it. I hope it turned out to be a good read as well. 
> 
> Thank you so much - to the prompter for this great prompt, to the MakoHaru Fanfiction Festival for organising all this, and to you for reading!
> 
> Comments and kudos make my day ♥
> 
> find me on [tumblr](http://themorninglark.tumblr.com/) | [@kenmakotos on twitter](https://twitter.com/kenmakotos)


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